Thursday, March 1, 2012

How to get your girlfriend back?

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back Even if She Doesn’t Want to See You?

WhenTalking| If there’s a real potential for the two of you to get back together  (the feelings are still there somewhere…), but the situation is so bad that she is unwilling to even have a little chat with you – what can you do to win her back? How to get your girlfriend back – for real?

The key is to show her you are there for her, that you understand where she is coming from, that you are this strong, confident and calm man, kind of a rock that is there who takes responsibility of the break up, regrets it genuinely, can apologize genuinely on your part of it and calmly shows her that you will change and do anything to make it work for you. Instead of being insecure and desperately trying this and that to win her back. That is something that all the women appreciate and what will make her eventually to be more willing to open up the communication with you. Getting your girlfriend back is NOT impossible – you CAN do it if both of you share still strong feelings for each other’s and you are committed in putting some real effort to this.

1. Let her be in peace for some days. During this time, go thru the reasons for the break up and honestly think about what were the things that you did that helped it occur directly or indirectly. What were your mistakes – and what you can do NOW to change those things and change yourself into a person that CAN reverse the break up and win her back. Most of all learn from the mistakes you did and then change yourself so that you don’t repeat them. The beginning of how to win your girlfriend back is this.

You need to acknowledge that your relationship has come to an end to be able to create a new beginning for it. Realize where you are now, and understand the mistakes and then start fixing them. Take a look at your relationship and find out where things got to wrong direction. This way you are be able to fix those issues. If you don’t fix the problems and issues that caused the break up, you really cannot fix the relationship either.

Firstly, if you honestly want to win her back, you got to let go  of some manly pride you may have and just admit the mistakes you made to yourself and take responsibility of your actions.  This is probably one of the most important things you can do, even if it feels hard – and in fact – especially then! It maybe hard sometimes to admit some mistakes you’ve done especially if you don’t even get that they were mistakes after all. But remember that men usually are more direct than women with everything, while women are more emotional – so to her some things you’ve done may have been really hurtful regardless that you don’t understand it! Now if you’re man enough to admit those things, regret them genuinely and apologize about them genuinely and by taking the initiative to do it – you are already impressing her. But to be able to do this genuinely, you need to UNDERSTAND those things and realize that “yeah maybe I actually hurt her with those things, maybe I actually was wrong” instead of unwillingly apologizing about them.

Then you need to think about how you can change those features in you that helped the break up happen, and become the person that can win her back.  That’s the second very important thing; you cannot get back to your old habits and do those hurtful things ever again! You got to change that much that you don’t do them. Instead become a “better” person and replace them with something positive. After that you need to think about what you can do to show her your regret, your understanding of these things and your responsibility taking – a third and VERY crucial thing if you want to work things out. And then you need to actually do this; change your mindset that much that you become this “better” person in reality and don’t repeat those mistakes any more.  A rough example; if you’ve cheated her, the obvious mindset change you need to do is to NEVER do it again and just let that part of you go forever and realize that instead, if you love her, you will focus on her only from now on. If you can’t do that, well then you gotta forget about her.

2. If she has asked for space to think about things, or just don’t want to see you right now, it means she is indicating that something is wrong. But rather than help you solve the issues and rekindle the love again  in the relationship, she takes distance from you – to show you it’s YOU who need to do something.

So if you wonder how to get your girlfriend back when she needs space, understand this; give her some space and time alone. By doing this you are already one tiny step closer to win her back.  During that time you will need to get an understanding of the situation and see what the issues really are. And you need to do the above mentioned self-studying and the needed changes in yourself.

If she needs space, it shows out that the communication between the two of you is flawed in some way. You need to find out what in you makes her to take distance, and then start solving that issue. Again, forget about the manly pride and just see the situation from her part, and most of all, be willing to make the needed changes in yourself. It is important that you find a way in, in order to figure out what is really bothering her if you have any hopes of rekindling things and making the relationship work again. So to be able to do this, you need to change something in you that is right now causing issues.

The key to rekindling a relationship with your ex girlfriend is to find a way to communicate openly with one another. Often, a woman will use “I need space” as a way to indicate that there is a flaw in the relationship, and while she may not immediately open up about that flaw, it will still eventually need to be talked about.

However do not beg at any point. This is a big mistake as it just starts to annoy her and drive her further away. So as difficult as it may be, do not allow yourself to do any begging or asking at any point. You will have your chance to win her back in a mature way little later.

3. While you give her some time and space, you need to start improving yourself at the same time – become more the ideal man from her point of view to actually get your girlfriend back! This means BOTH mentally AND physically. Become mentally more the ideal person she would like to see in you. Learn from your mistakes, and change those parts in yourself. And also, become physically more the person she would like to see in you. Maybe you need to do something to your looks and appearance; enhance them and become more attractive man! Even little things are better with both of these than nothing at all. If you aren’t willing to do these things, you aren’t going to win her back.

So instead of playing silly mind games with her or angrily looking for a new girl, invest it in self-improvement and looks improvement. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship, you’ll be better off taking some time to yourself and do something that will improve your confidence as an individual, whether it’s learning a new skill or just spending more time doing what you love. Improve your mindset, focus on your strengths and make any weaknesses stronger, and improve your looks, health, appearance and style.

Also kind of let your ex to see you can live without her and are a strong, confident man. She will respect you all the more for it. You don’t need to do anything more than to improve your mindset, confidence and looks and appearance to be able to do this. Then once you see her for the first time, or bump into her somewhere, she will notice this change and it will impress her whether see realizes it or not.

Be patient. Give both yourself and your ex girlfriend the time you need in order to sort your thoughts out and do some healing and improving process. See this as an opportunity to fix yourself. Take a positive step forward. Start going to the gym or pick up a hobby you love or start succeeding with your business, career or school. Enhance your style. Focus on something you’re really good at and get GREATER at it. Just utilize this down time to improve yourself so that when you finally go back to her, you have something new to show her. The more confident you are, the more attractive you are to her.

You should allow at least a week’s time for this process or more – and keep it all as permanent after that too; all the changes and improvements you start during this time will need to be permanent and take you each day forward.

4. Let her know about your regret, understanding of the things, responsibility of them and of the fact that you are changing. And let her know that you are there for her and available. DON’T play silly games like make her jealous. Just be confident in yourself and in your abilities to get her back without these games.

To do this in the best way, write a genuine and honest love letter after some days or a week or two.

This is how to get your girlfriend back – a real love letter. Not a phone call, not an email, not an IM—an actual handwritten letter. It may be an old fashioned method, but it works because there are very few women who won’t open a handwritten letter. That means you’ll at least get a chance to explain what you’re feeling regardless that she don’t speak to you. Then explain to her genuinely about your feelings, show her how sorry you are and what you are willing to do to change things, and what you are already doing. Let her know that you are there for her and that you are understand her point of view. Focus on her side of things in that letter. Most of all you need to be able to make her realize that YOU have realized these things, YOU genuinely regret them and that YOU are already changing those things in yourself to be able to win her back. And after that – most importantly – you gotta show her how much you still have feelings and love for her.

While it’s best to put everything in your own words, you can also ask some help, like from a female friend to help you and give some ideas (ideas only, the words got to be yours). The looks of the letter is also important. Make it really beautiful all the way.  Show her that you’ve put serious, big effort to this letter alone. Then send her the letter and wait for some time. Let her have her time to read it and think about it. This letter will open up the gates so to speak.

Also make sure your mutual friends know you’re still single and most of all they need to know how much you miss her and how much you want her back and how much you love her. It’s excellent if she starts to hear those things from your mutual friends.

5. Contact her after some days have passed by after the letter. Keep it pretty light, chatty type of call that you make because you want to hear her voice, say hi and just ask how she is doing, and also to let her know that you’ve been thinking of her a lot and the break up and the reasons that caused it and come to understand and realize so many things in your own behavior that you are now changing.

Let her see that you thinking of her and that you take responsibility from the break up and realize your mistakes, have learned from them and are willing to do all it takes to fix them and that you are understand her point of view and where she is coming from with her thoughts.  Ask her thoughts and let her speak what she wants. Listen so that you understand her. Try to create this friendly, positive conversation.

If she mentions your letter, like she most likely will, just tell her that you needed to write it and pour out everything you had inside and just contact her in some way to let her know about your feelings and thoughts.

Keep the mood upbeat and positive. Be confident, calm and strong. This means that you don’t start apologizing for everything you ever did wrong, and under no circumstances begging her to meet with you or arguing over what caused the breakup either. (After all, would you look forward to meeting someone who’s obviously an emotional wreck?) NO. Instead, give her an indication of the new, confident, calm, more attractive you  and of the man who still loves her a lot, has learned a lot from the mistakes done and has changed and understands her and is there for her. And that, MAYBE seeing you again, would be fun and won’t involve any bickering or groveling. If at all possible, make her laugh or even smile. You’ll get her to let her guard down and take away the “bad taste” left from the breakup.

When the call gets to end, just ask her if it’s ok that you call her “next week” or some other time which is at least little more further away, just to say hi and ask how she’s doing, and to hear her voice. If the call now has been good and positive, and IF the letter you sent her, was good and impressed her that much that she sees you in more positive light, you will most likely get her to agree on this. Just remember to honor the timelines you set; if you said you will call next week, then call next week instead of tomorrow.  So don’t start calling her any more often now that you got her permission to call.

6. Open up a friendly, positive and trust-building communication with her one phone call at a time and let her know that you are there for her and you think of her. Ask how she is and be genuinely interested in what’s going on in her life. ALSO let her know that you are doing fine in your life right now but that you still miss her a lot (emotional wrecks wont get their girls back!). You can also send her more special messages and tell her there shortly about some genuine things you have in mind right then when writing them. They are cute and can eventually make her smile each time see gets them.

Discuss about everyday things and ask how she’s doing, and also tell a little about what you’ve been doing. When telling about your stuff, make sure to subtly let her see that you’ve been doing quite a lot, are doing pretty fine and that you are obviously a changed man and changing all the time to better. Ask about her thoughts and let her speak about them freely. Let her see that you understand her and want to understand her even more with any comments and questions.  Let the conversations go on their own to whatever positive direction they go. Try to get her to laugh! Even better if both of you can laugh. This way you open up the communication again, and, also trust gradually. Encourage her to call you too sometimes.

When you’ve been talking in phone for a couple of times, you can begin to make subtle hints that you are still interested in being a part of her life.  Don’t force yourself on her in anyway, but rather simply offer friendship and companionship and see how she responds to this. When things are a little more comfortable in your new found friendship, you can begin to pry your way in a little more, mainly by placing subtle hints in the conversation about where the relationship between the two of you could ideally go and what you would ideally want to do with her.

When she is ready to open up to you, she will. She starts to tell a little more and more about her feelings and thoughts. You do not need to rush things or force things, just take the conversation slowly and let her find the best way to talk more. Once the issues are out in the open, they can be resolved more easily.

After you’ve built this friendly communication, you can suggest her a date with you, just a friendly date, nothing else. A chance to spend some time together as friends and talk more, have fun.

7. Suggest a meeting to her and take her out as friends.

 Suggest her a fun, casual meeting so that you can see each other’s , spend some time together and talk about things, have fun… This should be some easy-going meeting in a nice, easy-going place. Like lunch together, dinner together, movie together and after that some late night snack somewhere, maybe a walk in a park, or anything like this. Nothing serious or too intimate, nothing too demanding or complicated. Just something you can do very easily and just like that.  You should just suggest her like suddenly that “Hey… I would love to see you and have something to eat together. If I offer, how about coming to a dinner with me to… (some cool place) this evening/tomorrow evening..?” Or something like this. Genuine, yet very easy to say and do, and, a natural suggestion.  As you’ve already communicated over the phone a couple of times, and if you’ve had some genuinely nice time, she will most likely pretty easily agree to meet you.

It’s important you get her to meet with you this first time as this is now the moment you will let her see the new, improved, confident, attractive, changed you! One who’s genuinely learned from any past mistakes and is positive, fun, confident and trustworthy man. So you will need to impress her a little with this new, more confident and attractive appearance. Put some real effort to this, to your mindset and looks, but make it in such way that it seems completely effortless as it’s so natural. She will notice this change. Girls are so detail orientated that you can be sure she is impressed by the new you.

 AND in addition to this, you need to let her see the new, better person that you are now, who genuinely thinks of her and wants the best for her and understands her, is there for her. And is willing to change and do all the needed to change things between the two of you.  You need to show her this especially thru your actions and how you are with her. Words must be always supported by mutual actions, otherwise they’re just empty words.  So be unselfish and focus on her and really make this meeting to feel good for HER. That’s the beginning.

AND most importantly, you need to let her see that you still have lots of feelings for her, you love her, and that you are interested in fixing things between the two of you and maybe starting it all over again. Let this show in a subtle way, not so much with direct words. Treat her exceptionally well and make her FEEL your love thru your actions; in your gentle and soft gestures, maybe by touching her hand softly, and in how you treat her and how you are with her. Just make her feel good being with you. Don’t talk about getting back together directly too much as this date is kinda “a getting to know each other’s again” date, so keep it light enough. You can talk about this a little and carefully, just to let her know your feelings about this possibility and ask her feelings about it, but that’s it. More you need to show your love to her with your actions and how you treat her.

After this first meeting, you can suggest simply that you two stay in contact now that you’ve opened up the communication again and get together  sometimes soon again. You can tell her honestly also that you should do this just to see how things go, as friends with no obligations and just to see how it goes and what happens.  And most of all you should tell her how much you enjoyed her company and how much it meant to you and that you would love another date with her at some point soon. You are most likely going to get her to agree on this IF she has enjoyed her time with you and seen what a new changed man you are.

8. Start building up the romance and love again one date at a time, starting from the friendship level.

When you get her to agree to meet with you occasionally, you two can start talking about your relationship and its possibilities more, date after date. You can talk things over. You can tell her honestly about your feelings and ask her to tell honestly about hers. You can have some more romantic dates too after the first most crucial meeting and you can really put effort on winning her back, on pampering her and on making her re-fall in love with you.

You can also keep sending her occasionally those romantic love letters and sometimes some really special little gifts, just to charm her a little, pamper her and make her smile and awake her love toward you again. You can rekindle her love to you with all kinds of tender and genuine , loving little gestures, actions and things, and with romantic, fun dates. It can happen even after a week’s or two’s dating.  Just be sure to remember that any and all changes you’ve done to yourself and to your way of being with her, they need to be permanent, you cant go back to old habits anymore ever again!

It’s a step by step process. But as you can see, you CAN win her back even if she in the beginning wouldn’t want to talk to you!