Friday, November 25, 2011

Why be ashamed to crying ?

WhenTalking| Jennifer Lopez did not hesitate to cry watched television viewers around the world while watching her favorite American Idol participant eliminated. Ferrari's Felipe Massa, also pleaded not feel embarrassed for crying lamenting the failure to win the world title F1 Brazilian GP 2008. Crying is not something that should be avoided for women and men. Nothing wrong with expressing emotions. Crying, not only arise because of feelings of sadness, but is present as a variety of feelings when someone is having an event.

It's not the time anymore to see crying as something embarrassing, or even indicate weakness. Crying in public even has become a common phenomenon. Not a few people began to accept the expression of emotions through crying, although there are still people who have difficulty accepting or cry in front of others. The death of Princess Diana shows how the phenomenon that cries to be shown in public.

Susie Orbach (psychologists), said many people who still feel shy or awkward if you have to cry in front of others. In addition, many clients who ask for forgiveness when they cry because they feel a burden or embarrass another person who saw him cry.

"Crying because of the profound problems of one's self may be considered a natural and reasonable, but that does not mean everyone can think of crying as something normal, not even easy for someone to cry," explained.

The man was crying harder than women, says Orbach. This condition is influenced by experiences during the war. Demanded strong men, and crying is something that is taboo. Men can only be crying or in a specific place, when moved by watching her newborn, parent's funeral, or when losing a wife. This is why women are more prone to tears. Women are free to express their emotions through cries at weddings, funerals, seeing the success of the child, even while watching a touching movie.

Different experiences of women and men is then also associate crying with weakness. Many women who say, that he must hold emotions and crying in front of the boss did not want to be judged as weak. Though sometimes frustrated because the work makes a person want to cry. But as the cry to release his emotions, a person feels has made ​​a big mistake, because for him it is a sign of weakness.

Crying let go emotions
According to Orbach, crying not be associated with sadness. Crying involves a variety of feelings, sadness, regret, a sense of belonging, or even anger.

When the people closest to us dies, the feelings that arise not only sadness, but also fear, even anger. Crying because someone loses arise due to mixing of different feelings.

Likewise when crying with emotion watching a romantic movie or a story of happiness in marriage. Happy not only keywords that cause emotions to someone. Tears of joy is also influenced by a variety of feelings such as empathy for the feelings of love, the love story between a person, or a sense of belonging that cause emotions.

"Crying is mix up all the feelings and release all those feelingsthrough tears. After crying, someone will feel better for havingexpressed a complex emotion," said Orbach.

Therefore, says Orbach, the therapist often known as an expertwho makes people crying so easily. The therapist's duty todiscard the notion that crying is taboo. Not easy to undergo this role, Orbach said, because not everyone can receive the cryingas a form of emotional release is good for him.

In fact, one can grow if they can accept the feelings that arise in him. Cry no more considered as something negative and need not be avoided. "The inevitable, then the big problem will continue to emerge," said Orbach.

He added, crying will not destroy the identity of a person but it makes a person more real because he was a man who has apositive emotion in him.